Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Happy Birthday From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card For Parent, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend

Happy Birthday From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Thank You For Being My Unpaid Therapist Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Thank You Card For Friend, Parent, Partner

Thank You For Being My Unpaid Therapist Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On Hinge You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Met On Hinge, Dating App

Of All The Weirdos On Hinge You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
RIP To Your Twenties Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Thirtieth Birthday Card For Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister, Friend, Thirty Year Old, 30th

RIP To Your Twenties Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Mug | Rude, Funny, Profanity Gift For Cat Owner, Cat Lover, Kittens

Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Happy Valentine's From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Valentine's Card For Husband, Wife, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

Happy Valentine's From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Rude Sex Joke Birthday Card For Him,

On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Make Me Wet Greeting Card | Funny Anniversary Card For Him, Rude Love Card, Valentines Card For Boyfriend, Husband

You Make Me Wet Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Christmas From A Casual Acquaintance Greeting Card | Funny, Joke, Sarcastic Christmas Card For Friends, Family

Merry Christmas From A Casual Acquaintance Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Can't Be Bothered Birthday Card, Lazy Card Joke

Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Bald Cunt! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Parent, Grandparent, Friend, Sibling, Man With No Hair Illustration

Nope, Still A Bald Cunt! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Obligatory Birthday Card. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude, Funny Happy Birthday Card For Friend, Family

Obligatory Birthday Card. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
This Is A Manly Man's Apron Apron | Funny Mens Apron For Husband, Boyfriend, Son, Dad, BBQ Apron, Grill

This Is A Manly Man's Apron Apron

£21.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£21.50
Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On Bumble You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Met On Bumble, Dating App

Of All The Weirdos On Bumble You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 41 Mug | 39 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 41st Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Forty First Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

I Am 41 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Happy Birthday From The One Who Puts Up With Your Farts Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend Or Boyfriend

Happy Birthday From The One Who Puts Up With Your Farts Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Made The Christmas Card List Greeting Card | Funny, Sarcastic, Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Family

Congratulations You Made The Christmas Card List Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Guitar Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Guitarist, Guitar Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Guitar Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Card For Cat Lover, Funny Card For Cat Owners, Kittens

Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 31 Mug | 29 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 31st Birthday Gift For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Thirty First Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty One

I Am 31 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Bell With Party Hat On

Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Snoring Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Wife, Husband

Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Snoring Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Christmas Is Cancelled. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Christmas Card For Friend, Christmas Hater, Bah Humbug

Christmas Is Cancelled. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Really Are A Massive Cunt Mug | Rude, Offensive, Profanity Gift For Coworker, Friend, Sibling

You Really Are A Massive Cunt Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Cousin, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Cousin Card

If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On Tinder You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Met On Tinder, Dating App

Of All The Weirdos On Tinder You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Live, Laugh, Love, Vomit, Cry, Rinse, Repeat Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, New Mum, Pregnancy Joke, Hormones, Morning Sickness, Basic Saying

Live, Laugh, Love, Vomit, Cry, Rinse, Repeat Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Funny Normal People Card, Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Husband

I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan You're Old Age Joke Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Friend, Grandad, Grandma, Another Year Older

One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Anniversary From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Wife, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

Happy Anniversary From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Christmas To Santa's Favourite Ho Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card For Her, Friend

Merry Christmas To Santa's Favourite Ho Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
There is No Place Like Your Vagina Fridge Magnet | Rude Birthday Gift For Her, Anniversary Gift For Girlfriend, Valentines Gift For Wife

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
If I Die While Lifting Weights Add More Weights And Then Call For Help Mug | Funny, Deadpan Gym Joke Mug For Gym Bro, Gym Bunny, Boyfriend, Girlfriend

If I Die While Lifting Weights Add More Weights And Then Call For Help Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Sister Card

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Met Online

Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Christmas Cards Are Consumerist Bullshit Greeting Card | Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Family, Pessimistic, Bah Humbug

Christmas Cards Are Consumerist Bullshit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Birthday Card For Friend, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister

Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Nosey Cunt In Small Font Joke

Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You'll Do Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Valentines Card For Him, For Her, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, Wife, Anniversary, Love

You'll Do Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
There is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card | Rude Anniversary Card, Rude Valentines Card, Rude Card For Her, Rude Card For Wife, Girlfriend

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Big Gay Day Greeting Card | Funny Gay Wedding Card, Funny LGBTQ+ Wedding Card

Big Gay Day Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, Exams, New Job, Four Leaf Clover Doodle

Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99