Deadpan Greeting Cards

Challenge them to open these premium greeting cards without cracking a smile!

All of our cards are printed on thick 324gsm paper and can be personalised with an internal message and send direct.

Our cards cover a wide range of occasions - Christmas, Birthday, Congratulations, New Baby, Thank You, Sympathy & Grievance, Wedding, Leaving, Christmas, Mother and Father's Day and much more!

Thanks For Putting Up With My Shit Greeting Card | Deadpan Thank You Card, Profanity Thank You Card, Funny Thank You Card, Monochrome

Thanks For Putting Up With My Shit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Colleagues Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, New Job, Good Luck

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Colleagues Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
It Was A Shit Job Anyway Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, Retirement, New Job, Redundancy, Fired, Lost Job

It Was A Shit Job Anyway Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Go Fuck Yourself Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Profanity, Deadpan Greeting Card, Frenemy, Fuck You Card, Banter Card, Frenemies

Go Fuck Yourself Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Ginger Cunt. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity, Rude Birthday Card In Orange For Ginger, Red Head

Happy Birthday You Ginger Cunt. Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
You Were Shit At Your Job Anyway Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, Retirement, New Job, Redundancy

You Were Shit At Your Job Anyway Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours | Deadpan New Home Card, Rude New Home Card, Funny Moving House Card

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Thoughts And Prayers To Your Vagina Greeting Card | Funny New Mum Card, Joke New Mum Card, New Baby, Just Gave Birth

Thoughts And Prayers To Your Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Fuck You're Old Greeting Card | Offensive Birthday Card, Profanity, Old Age Joke Birthday Card

Fuck You're Old Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
You Really Are A Massive Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Greeting Card, Funny Greeting Card, Profanity

You Really Are A Massive Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
RIP Vagina Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, Joke New Mum Card, Just Gave Birth, Congratulations

RIP Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Rude Sex Joke Birthday Card For Him,

On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Congratulations You Cunt Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Nobody Likes A Tory Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Politics Joke, Conservative Party, Tory Scum, Rich, Toff, Posh

Nobody Likes A Tory Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Easter You Cunt Greeting Card | Rude, Funny, Profanity, Deadpan Easter Card, Monochrome, Easter Sunday

Happy Easter You Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Can't Be Bothered Birthday Card, Lazy Card Joke

Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Bald Cunt! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Parent, Grandparent, Friend, Sibling, Man With No Hair Illustration

Nope, Still A Bald Cunt! Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Good Luck With Your New Job You Fucking Traitor Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, Good Luck, Profanity, New Job, Judas

Good Luck With Your New Job You Fucking Traitor Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Smug Wanker Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Smug Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'll Cum Down Your Chimney Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card For Her

I'll Cum Down Your Chimney Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
When I First Met You, I Looked Deep Into Your Eyes And Thought

When I First Met You, I Looked Deep Into Your Eyes And Thought "Fuck It, You'll Do" Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Card For Cat Lover, Funny Card For Cat Owners, Kittens

Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
You're The Dog's Bollocks Greeting Card | Rude Graduation Card, Rude Well Done Card, Rude New Job Card

You're The Dog's Bollocks Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Bugger Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Accident Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Failed Exam, Failed Driving Test, Break Up

Bugger Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Festive As Fuck. Greeting Card | Funny, Rude, Deadpan, Profanity Christmas Card In Red, Festive AF,

Festive As Fuck. Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Merry Shitmas Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card, Profanity, Dry Humour

Merry Shitmas Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Have a Basic Christmas You Basic Bitch Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card For Her

Have a Basic Christmas You Basic Bitch Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Vegan Wanker Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Vegan Greeting Card For Vegans, Veggie, Plant Based

Vegan Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

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from £3.99
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Nosey Cunt In Small Font Joke

Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Eat Your Fucking Sprouts Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card, Dry Humour, Profanity, Brussel Sprouts

Eat Your Fucking Sprouts Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Couldn't Give A Shit About Your Birthday Greeting Card | Rude Birthday Card, Offensive Birthday Card, Profanity

I Couldn't Give A Shit About Your Birthday Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card | Deadpan New Year Card, Funny Happy New Year Card, Pessimistic New Year Card

Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99