Deadpan Greeting Cards

Challenge them to open these premium greeting cards without cracking a smile!

All of our cards are printed on thick 324gsm paper and can be personalised with an internal message and send direct.

Our cards cover a wide range of occasions - Christmas, Birthday, Congratulations, New Baby, Thank You, Sympathy & Grievance, Wedding, Leaving, Christmas, Mother and Father's Day and much more!

Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Cactus Prick Pun

Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Birthday Wanker Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Offensive Bubble Writing Birthday Card

Birthday Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I'm A Cunt And So Are You Greeting Card | Deadpan Love Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend Or Boyfriend

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I'm A Cunt And So Are You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Best Chance Of Getting Laid Is To Crawl Up A Chicken's Ass And Wait Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Can't Get Laid, Not Getting Any Sex

Your Best Chance Of Getting Laid Is To Crawl Up A Chicken's Ass And Wait Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm No Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Cactus Pun Greeting Card, You're A Prick Cactus Card

I'm No Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Would Tell You To Eat Shit But I Know You're Not Into Cannibalism Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Profanity, Deadpan Greeting Card, You're Shit

I Would Tell You To Eat Shit But I Know You're Not Into Cannibalism Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Well This Is A Fucking Shit Birthday Greeting Card | Deadpan Lockdown Birthday Card, Crap Birthday, Can't Celebrate, Monochrome, Profanity

Well This Is A Fucking Shit Birthday Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Having Small Boobs Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Massive Tit! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Card For Her, Small Breasts Joke

Having Small Boobs Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Massive Tit! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Having A Small Penis Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Huge Dick! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Card For Him, Small Dick Energy Joke

Having A Small Penis Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Huge Dick! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Valentine's Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Valentine's Card For Husband, Boyfriend, Penis Still Works, Dick Joke

Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Valentine's Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Have A Fucking Spectacular Divorce Greeting Card | Deadpan Divorce Card, Dry Humour Break-Up Card, Monochrome, Sympathy

Have A Fucking Spectacular Divorce Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Let Us Fuck Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Let's Have Sex, Profanity, Blunt

Let Us Fuck Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Fucking Mug Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Break Up, Gullible, Divorce, Slang, Sucker, Fool

You Fucking Mug Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You Don't Half Talk Some Bullshit Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Profanity Card, Chat Shit, Compulsive Lier, Chatting Shit

You Don't Half Talk Some Bullshit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Boyfriend, Penis Still Works, Dick Joke

Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Ginger Twat! Greeting Card | Rude, Deadpan Card For Ginger Person, Red Head, Friend, Sibling, Man With Ginger Hair Illustration

Nope, Still A Ginger Twat! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Wanker! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Sibling, Wanker, Monochrome

Nope, Still A Wanker! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck You're Old. Greeting Card | Offensive, Rude, Funny, Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card, Age Joke

Fuck You're Old. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead. Greeting Card | Pessimistic, Deadpan, Funny Happy New Year Card, Profanity

Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're Getting Married. Shit Just Got Real. Greeting Card | Rude, Funny, Profanity Wedding Card, Engagement

You're Getting Married. Shit Just Got Real. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Card For Dog Lover, Funny Card For Dog Owners, Puppy

Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Greeting Card | Deadpan Card, Rude Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, Small Boobs

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Keep The Fuck Away Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Offensive Greeting Card, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Carole Baskin Greeting Card, Tiger King Greeting Card

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99