Your Gene Pool Could Use Some Chlorine Greeting Card
from £3.99
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Deadpan Gifts
We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.
We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!
I Would Tell You To Eat Shit But I Know You're Not Into Cannibalism Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right It's A Shame Nobody Told Your Parents Greeting Card
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from £3.99
If I Throw A Stick Will You Leave? Greeting Card
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from £3.99
If Uncles Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card
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If Aunties Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card
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from £3.99
If Dads Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card
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from £3.99
Alexa Send Mum A Mother's Day Card Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Alexa Send Dad A Father's Day Card Greeting Card
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Well This Is A Fucking Shit Birthday Greeting Card
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Of All The Weirdos On Grindr You're My Favourite Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
There's Nobody Else I'd Rather Sit On My Phone With Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Wearing Fake Tan In Bed Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Having Small Boobs Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Massive Tit! Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Valentine's Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Have A Fucking Spectacular Divorce Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Congratulations, You've Ruined Your Life Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
from £3.99
I Hate The Sound Of Your Breathing Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Sometimes, I Wonder What It Would Be Like If You Were Dead Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Let's Get Fat Together Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
I Hate You The Least Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
It's About Time You Shuffled Off Now, Old Timer Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Be Kind To Yourself Today Have A Wank Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
'Dad Bods' Only Work If You Were Good Looking In The First Place Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
from £3.99
You're Not A Hipster You're A Beard With An Idiot Hanging Off It Greeting Card
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from £3.99
Let's Get Drunk And Eat Ourselves Into A Coma Greeting Card
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from £3.99
May Your Furlough Be Long And Vegetative Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
You Don't Half Talk Some Bullshit Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
They Say 'If You Don't Have Something Nice To Say, Don't Say Anything At All'... Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Maybe We Should Just Stay Socially Distanced Forever Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
from £3.99
Time To Celebrate That Ting Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Our Time Together Has Been Tolerable Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
You'll Probably Make Terrible Parents, But It Will Be Fun To Watch Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
I'm Sorry Your Newborn Has You For Parents Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Be Careful... Too Many Birthdays Will Kill You Greeting Card
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from £3.99
Happy Birthday... Not Many Left Now Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Good Luck! You're Quite Thick So Don't Get Your Hopes Up! Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
Nope, Still A Ginger Twat! Greeting Card
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from £3.99
from £3.99
from £3.99
One Day All Trace Of You Will Be Forgotten. Let's Do Something Stupid! Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Mum! Greeting Card
from £3.99
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from £3.99