Deadpan Gifts

There is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card | Rude Anniversary Card, Rude Valentines Card, Rude Card For Her, Rude Card For Wife, Girlfriend

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours A5 Notebook | Moving Out Gift, Gifts For Couples Moving Out, Black And White Journal

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card | Deadpan New Year Card, Funny Happy New Year Card, Pessimistic New Year Card

Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck Men Greeting Card | Funny Break Up Card For Her, Sorry Divorce Card For Her, Men Are Trash Card, Monochrome

Fuck Men Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Your Home May Be Repossessed If You Fail To Make Your Mortgage Repayments Greeting Card | Deadpan New Home Card, Funny New Home Card

Your Home May Be Repossessed If You Fail To Make Your Mortgage Repayments Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Regret To Inform You That You Are No Longer Young Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card, Old Age Joke

I Regret To Inform You That You Are No Longer Young Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Have Incurred A Lifetime Of Debt Greeting Card | Deadpan New Home Card, Bought A House Card, Graduation Card, First Time Buyers

Congratulations You Have Incurred A Lifetime Of Debt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Big Gay Day Greeting Card | Funny Gay Wedding Card, Funny LGBTQ+ Wedding Card

Big Gay Day Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
And Then There Was No Sleep Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, Joke New Parents Card

And Then There Was No Sleep Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Today Is The Anniversary Of The Day You Were Born Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour, To The Point Birthday Card

Today Is The Anniversary Of The Day You Were Born Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, Exams, New Job, Four Leaf Clover Doodle

Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck You Fuck Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, New Job, Exams, Leaving

Good Luck You Fuck Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck And Good Riddance Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Good Luck Card, Funny, Deadpan Leaving Card, New Job

Good Luck And Good Riddance Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Father's Day Card, Rude Thank You Card For Dad, Small Penis

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Magnet | Tiger King Gifts, Carole Baskin, Joe Exotic Quote, Profanity, Monochrome Fridge Magnet

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
U Are 42 Greeting Card | 40 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 42nd Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Forty Second Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

U Are 42 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 22 Greeting Card | 20 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 22nd Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty Second, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Second

U Are 22 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Toilet Joke New Home Card, You're Leaving, Moving Out, Housewarming, Toilet Doodle

Happy Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Colourful Bubble Writing

Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Dick Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday You Dick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Asked Alexa How Old You Are. She Laughed Greeting Card | Deadpan Alexa Joke Birthday Card For Mum Or Dad, Age Joke, Getting Older, Funny, You're Old

I Asked Alexa How Old You Are. She Laughed Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Have Been A Satisfactory Colleague Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card For Colleague, Coworker, Funny Retirement Card, New Job

You Have Been A Satisfactory Colleague Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nothing Says Happy Birthday Like A Folded Piece Of Card Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Birthday Card

Nothing Says Happy Birthday Like A Folded Piece Of Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Look Like Something I Drew With My Left Hand Greeting Card | Deadpan Ugly Joke Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend or Friend

You Look Like Something I Drew With My Left Hand Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Hope You Choke On All The Shit You Talk Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Profanity Card, Chat Shit, Compulsive Lier, Chatting Shit, Mean Card

I Hope You Choke On All The Shit You Talk Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Jealous Of All The People Who Haven't Met You Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Wish We'd Never Met Card, Banter Card, Mean Card

I'm Jealous Of All The People Who Haven't Met You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're Old Enough To Remember When Emojis Were Called Hieroglyphics Greeting Card | Old Age Joke, Deadpan Birthday Card, You're Old Birthday Card

You're Old Enough To Remember When Emojis Were Called Hieroglyphics Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
If Brothers Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Brother Card

If Brothers Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Alexa How Old Am I? Greeting Card | Deadpan Alexa Joke Birthday Card, Age Joke, Forgetful, Getting Older, Forgetting Age

Alexa How Old Am I? Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
There's Nobody Else I'd Take The Bins Out For Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband Or Wife

There's Nobody Else I'd Take The Bins Out For Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday P.S Please Take Out The Bins Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card For Partner, Housemate, Living Together Jokes

Happy Birthday P.S Please Take Out The Bins Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You Fucking Mug Mug | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Profanity Gift For Gullible Idiot, Sympathy, Breakup, Divorce, Mug Pun

You Fucking Mug Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Mean Card, No Point To You Card, Birthday

I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Wish You Had Moved Further Away Greeting Card | Deadpan New Home Card, Funny Moving House Card, Too Close

I Wish You Had Moved Further Away Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
After A Year Of Lockdowns And Social Distancing, I Can Safely Say It's Been A Blessing Not Having To See You Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Stay Away
from £3.99
Looking 60 Years Old Is Great... If You're 70 Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Grandparent, Parent, Friend, Sibling, Getting Old, Old Age Joke

Looking 60 Years Old Is Great... If You're 70 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Christmas. Now Let's Eat Until We Hate Ourselves! Greeting Card | Deadpan Christmas Card, Monochrome, Overeating At Christmas Joke

Merry Christmas. Now Let's Eat Until We Hate Ourselves! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Stopped Satisfying Me Years Ago. Happy Valentine's. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude Valentine's Card In Red For Him, Her, Husband, Wife

You Stopped Satisfying Me Years Ago. Happy Valentine's. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Christmas Cards Are Consumerist Bullshit Greeting Card | Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Family, Pessimistic, Bah Humbug

Christmas Cards Are Consumerist Bullshit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Fifties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card | Colourful, Blunt 60th, Deadpan Sixtieth Birthday Card For Sixty Year Old, Grandma, Grandad, Mum, Dad

Your Fifties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Forties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card | Colourful, Blunt 50th, Deadpan Fiftieth Birthday Card For Fifty Year Old, Brother, Sister, Mum, Dad, Friend

Your Forties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Twenties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card | Colourful, Blunt 30th, Deadpan Thirtieth Birthday Card For Thirty Year Old, Brother, Sister, Friend, Son, Daughter

Your Twenties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!