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Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Let That Shit Go. Tote | Canvas Shopping Bag, Yoga Joke Tote Bag, For Yoga, Yogi, Namaste, Profanity, Let It Go, Breakup, Zen, Forgiveness, Healing

Let That Shit Go. Tote

£26.50

Hit the beach or the shops with our range of fun canvas tote bags. SIZE: 14" x 18.5"

£26.50
Fuck You're Old. Greeting Card | Offensive, Rude, Funny, Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card, Age Joke

Fuck You're Old. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Running Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Runner, Marathon Journal, Diary, 5k, Jogger, Jogging

Running Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Keep The Fuck Away A5 Notebook | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Monochrome, Profanity, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Keep The Fuck Away Sticker | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Monochrome, Profanity, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away Sticker

£3.65

Tell them like it is with these fun stickers.  SIZE: 3x4"

£3.65
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits A5 Notebook | Funny Gifts For Mum, Mother's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Mother

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
There Is No Place Like Your Vagina A5 Notebook | Funny, Rude Notebook, Anniversary Gift For Her, Valentines, Black And White Journal

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Magnet | Funny Fridge Magnet, Birthday Gift For Men, Rude Birthday Magnet For Him

On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Coaster | Funny Gifts For Mum, Thank You Gift For Mother, Mother's Day Drinks Mat

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Keep The Fuck Away Coaster | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Get Well Soon Gift, Profanity

Keep The Fuck Away Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Coaster | Funny Coaster, Anniversary Gift For Her, Rude Drinks Mat, Black And White

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours Magnet | Gift For Couple Moving Out, Monochrome Fridge Magnet, Housewarming, New Home

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Keep The Fuck Away Magnet | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Joke Get Well Soon Gift, Profanity

Keep The Fuck Away Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Card For Dog Lover, Funny Card For Dog Owners, Puppy

Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Greeting Card | Deadpan Card, Rude Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, Small Boobs

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Keep The Fuck Away Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Offensive Greeting Card, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Carole Baskin Greeting Card, Tiger King Greeting Card

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Cunt Coaster | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, New Job Gift, Rude Drinks Mat, Black and White, Passed Exams Or Driving Test

Congratulations You Cunt Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Sticker | Tiger King Gifts, Carole Baskin, Joe Exotic, Monochrome, Profanity

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Sticker

£3.65

Tell them like it is with these fun stickers.  SIZE: 3x4"

£3.65
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead A5 Notebook | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Journal, Black and White Notebook, New Job, Well Done

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Congratulations You Cunt A5 Notebook | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Journal, Black and White Notebook, New Job, Well Done

Congratulations You Cunt A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock A5 Notebook | Father's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Dad, Monochrome Journal, Small Todger, Willy, Penis

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock A5 Notebook

£11.25

Wow them with your willy vocab with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Coaster | Tiger King Gifts, Carole Baskin, Joe Exotic, Monochrome, Profanity

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Good Luck You Fuck Coaster | Funny Leaving Gift, Funny Good Luck Gift, Rude Drinks Mat, Black and White, New Job, New Home, Leaving For University

Good Luck You Fuck Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Coaster | Father's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Dad, Drinks Mat, Small Penis, Todger, Willy

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Good Luck You Fuck Magnet | Funny Leaving Gift, Funny Good Luck Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, New Job, Leaving For University

Good Luck You Fuck Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Magnet | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, Well Done, New Job

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Congratulations You Smug Wanker Magnet | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, Well Done, New Job

Congratulations You Smug Wanker Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Congratulations You Cunt Magnet | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, Well Done, New Job

Congratulations You Cunt Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Fridge Magnet | Father's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Father, Small Penis, Willy, Todger

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95