Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Happy Birthday From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card For Parent, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend

Happy Birthday From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
I Regret To Inform You That Your Twenties Have Now Expired Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Thirtieth Birthday Card or Thirty Year Old, 30th, 30

I Regret To Inform You That Your Twenties Have Now Expired Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Womb Mate Greeting Card | Birthday Card For Twin, Funny Twin Birthday Card, Sibling

Happy Birthday Womb Mate Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Womb Mate. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card In Pink For Twin, Sibling, Sister

Happy Birthday Womb Mate. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Regret To Inform You That Your Thirties Have Now Expired Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Fortieth Birthday Card or Forty Year Old, 40th, 40

I Regret To Inform You That Your Thirties Have Now Expired Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From The Best Decision You Ever Made. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card In Orange For Parent, Husband Or Wife

Happy Birthday From The Best Decision You Ever Made. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Womb Mate. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card In Blue For Twin, Sibling, Brother

Happy Birthday Womb Mate. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
RIP To Your Twenties Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Thirtieth Birthday Card For Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister, Friend, Thirty Year Old, 30th

RIP To Your Twenties Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Regret To Inform You That Your Fifties Have Now Expired Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Sixtieth Birthday Card or Sixty Year Old, 60th, 60

I Regret To Inform You That Your Fifties Have Now Expired Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Ginger Cunt. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity, Rude Birthday Card In Orange For Ginger, Red Head

Happy Birthday You Ginger Cunt. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You're Dead In Dog Years Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Rude Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Grandparent, Old Age Joke

You're Dead In Dog Years Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Regret To Inform You That Your Forties Have Now Expired Greeting Card |  Deadpan, Dry Humour Fiftieth Birthday Card or Fifty Year Old, 50th, 50

I Regret To Inform You That Your Forties Have Now Expired Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Caravan Wanker Coaster | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation, Caravan Doodle Drinks Mat

Caravan Wanker Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Fuck You're Old Greeting Card | Offensive Birthday Card, Profanity, Old Age Joke Birthday Card

Fuck You're Old Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Allotment Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Gardener, Allotment Owner, Garden Journal, Diary, Gardening Tools, Veggies, Plants

Allotment Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Rude Sex Joke Birthday Card For Him,

On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Make Me Wet Greeting Card | Funny Anniversary Card For Him, Rude Love Card, Valentines Card For Boyfriend, Husband

You Make Me Wet Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Can't Be Bothered Birthday Card, Lazy Card Joke

Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Obligatory Birthday Card. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude, Funny Happy Birthday Card For Friend, Family

Obligatory Birthday Card. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Obligatory Birthday Card Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card

Obligatory Birthday Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Gym Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Gym Goer, Weight Lifter, Gym Enthusiast, Muscle Head, Gains, Journal, Dairy

Gym Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
I Acknowledge That You Are One Year Older Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card

I Acknowledge That You Are One Year Older Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 41 Mug | 39 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 41st Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Forty First Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

I Am 41 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Happy Birthday From The One Who Puts Up With Your Farts Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend Or Boyfriend

Happy Birthday From The One Who Puts Up With Your Farts Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Guitar Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Guitarist, Guitar Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Guitar Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
I Am 31 Mug | 29 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 31st Birthday Gift For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Thirty First Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty One

I Am 31 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Bell With Party Hat On

Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Snoring Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Wife, Husband

Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Snoring Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
This Is Literally The First Card I Saw Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Minimal, Low Effort Card, Birthday, Anniversary, Congratulations

This Is Literally The First Card I Saw Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Cousin, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Cousin Card

If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Bike Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Cyclist, Biker, Cycling Journal, Biking Diary

Bike Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Funny Normal People Card, Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Husband

I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Wishing You A Happy Birthday From A Social Distance Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card, Socially Distanced Birthday

Wishing You A Happy Birthday From A Social Distance Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan You're Old Age Joke Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Friend, Grandad, Grandma, Another Year Older

One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If Mums Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Mother's Day Card For Mum, Birthday Card For Mum, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You

If Mums Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Hi, I'm Vegan Mug | Funny Gift For Vegan, Veggie, Plant Based, Conscious, Green Eater

Hi, I'm Vegan Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
I Asked Alexa How Old You Are. She Laughed Greeting Card | Deadpan Alexa Joke Birthday Card For Mum Or Dad, Age Joke, Getting Older, Funny, You're Old

I Asked Alexa How Old You Are. She Laughed Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Sister Card

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Mean Card, No Point To You Card, Birthday

I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Dad! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Father
from £3.99
Happy Birthday! You Are A Constant Source Of Disappointment! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Son, Daughter, Spouse, Birthday Candle

Happy Birthday! You Are A Constant Source Of Disappointment! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Birthday Card For Friend, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister

Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99