Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Good Luck And Good Riddance Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Good Luck Card, Funny, Deadpan Leaving Card, New Job

Good Luck And Good Riddance Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Father's Day Card, Rude Thank You Card For Dad, Small Penis

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
In Dog Years You Are A Ghost Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Rude You're Old Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Grandparent, Old Age Joke

In Dog Years You Are A Ghost Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Hope You Choke On All The Shit You Talk Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Profanity Card, Chat Shit, Compulsive Lier, Chatting Shit, Mean Card

I Hope You Choke On All The Shit You Talk Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Jealous Of All The People Who Haven't Met You Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Wish We'd Never Met Card, Banter Card, Mean Card

I'm Jealous Of All The People Who Haven't Met You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're Old Enough To Remember When Emojis Were Called Hieroglyphics Greeting Card | Old Age Joke, Deadpan Birthday Card, You're Old Birthday Card

You're Old Enough To Remember When Emojis Were Called Hieroglyphics Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Sister Card

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Alexa How Old Am I? Greeting Card | Deadpan Alexa Joke Birthday Card, Age Joke, Forgetful, Getting Older, Forgetting Age

Alexa How Old Am I? Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Met Online

Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Mean Card, No Point To You Card, Birthday

I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Wish You Had Moved Further Away Greeting Card | Deadpan New Home Card, Funny Moving House Card, Too Close

I Wish You Had Moved Further Away Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Dad! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Father
from £3.99
Happy Birthday! You Are A Constant Source Of Disappointment! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Son, Daughter, Spouse, Birthday Candle

Happy Birthday! You Are A Constant Source Of Disappointment! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Mum, Thanks For Being My Taxi Greeting Card | Deadpan Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, For Her

Mum, Thanks For Being My Taxi Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Birthday Card For Friend, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister

Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Nosey Cunt In Small Font Joke

Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
RIP To Your Forties Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Fiftieth Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Fifty Year Old, 50th

RIP To Your Forties Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck And Good Riddance. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude, Funny Good Luck Card, New Job, You're Leaving, Retirement, New Home

Good Luck And Good Riddance. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
42% Of Marriages End In Divorce. Greeting Card | Rude, Deadpan Engagement Card, Wedding, Just Married, Engaged, Hen Do, Stag Party

42% Of Marriages End In Divorce. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Eat Your Fucking Sprouts Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card, Dry Humour, Profanity, Brussel Sprouts

Eat Your Fucking Sprouts Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You'll Do Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Valentines Card For Him, For Her, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, Wife, Anniversary, Love

You'll Do Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation Journal, Diary, Caravan Doodle

Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Will Cook For Wine Apron | Funny Wine Joke Apron For Her, Alcohol, Deadpan, Monochrome, Vino, White, Red

Will Cook For Wine Apron

£28.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£28.50
Where The Fuck Is My Wine Apron | Rude, Funny, Deadpan Apron For Wine Drinker, Vino, Mum, Her, Profanity, Monochrome

Where The Fuck Is My Wine Apron

£28.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£28.50
Prick With A Fork Apron | Rude, Funny Pun BBQ Apron For Him, Dad, Profanity, Monochrome

Prick With A Fork Apron

£28.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£28.50
You Will Never Sleep Again Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, Joke New Parents Card

You Will Never Sleep Again Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Really Are A Massive Cunt Sticker | Rude Sticker, Funny Sticker, Black And White Sticker, Offensive, Profanity

You Really Are A Massive Cunt Sticker

£4.65

Tell them like it is with these fun stickers.  SIZE: 3x4"

£4.65
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours A5 Notebook | Moving Out Gift, Gifts For Couples Moving Out, Black And White Journal

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card | Deadpan New Year Card, Funny Happy New Year Card, Pessimistic New Year Card

Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck Men Greeting Card | Funny Break Up Card For Her, Sorry Divorce Card For Her, Men Are Trash Card, Monochrome

Fuck Men Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Your Home May Be Repossessed If You Fail To Make Your Mortgage Repayments Greeting Card | Deadpan New Home Card, Funny New Home Card

Your Home May Be Repossessed If You Fail To Make Your Mortgage Repayments Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Regret To Inform You That You Are No Longer Young Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card, Old Age Joke

I Regret To Inform You That You Are No Longer Young Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Have Incurred A Lifetime Of Debt Greeting Card | Deadpan New Home Card, Bought A House Card, Graduation Card, First Time Buyers

Congratulations You Have Incurred A Lifetime Of Debt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99