Our Products

Filters

Holiday

Occasion

Product

Theme

Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

You're Getting Married. Shit Just Got Real. Greeting Card | Rude, Funny, Profanity Wedding Card, Engagement

You're Getting Married. Shit Just Got Real. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Running Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Runner, Marathon Journal, Diary, 5k, Jogger, Jogging

Running Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Where The Fuck Is My Wine Apron | Rude, Funny, Deadpan Apron For Wine Drinker, Vino, Mum, Her, Profanity, Monochrome

Where The Fuck Is My Wine Apron

£21.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£21.50
Keep The Fuck Away A5 Notebook | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Monochrome, Profanity, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Keep The Fuck Away Sticker | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Monochrome, Profanity, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away Sticker

£3.65

Tell them like it is with these fun stickers.  SIZE: 3x4"

£3.65
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits A5 Notebook | Funny Gifts For Mum, Mother's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Mother

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
There Is No Place Like Your Vagina A5 Notebook | Funny, Rude Notebook, Anniversary Gift For Her, Valentines, Black And White Journal

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Magnet | Funny Fridge Magnet, Birthday Gift For Men, Rude Birthday Magnet For Him

On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Coaster | Funny Gifts For Mum, Thank You Gift For Mother, Mother's Day Drinks Mat

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Keep The Fuck Away Coaster | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Get Well Soon Gift, Profanity

Keep The Fuck Away Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Coaster | Funny Coaster, Anniversary Gift For Her, Rude Drinks Mat, Black And White

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours Magnet | Gift For Couple Moving Out, Monochrome Fridge Magnet, Housewarming, New Home

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Keep The Fuck Away Magnet | Funny Offensive Gifts For Friends, Joke Get Well Soon Gift, Profanity

Keep The Fuck Away Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Card For Dog Lover, Funny Card For Dog Owners, Puppy

Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Greeting Card | Deadpan Card, Rude Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, Small Boobs

Mum Thanks For Giving Me Small Tits Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Keep The Fuck Away Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Offensive Greeting Card, Stay Away, Get Well Soon

Keep The Fuck Away Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Carole Baskin Greeting Card, Tiger King Greeting Card

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Cunt Coaster | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, New Job Gift, Rude Drinks Mat, Black and White, Passed Exams Or Driving Test

Congratulations You Cunt Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Sticker | Tiger King Gifts, Carole Baskin, Joe Exotic, Monochrome, Profanity

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Sticker

£3.65

Tell them like it is with these fun stickers.  SIZE: 3x4"

£3.65
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead A5 Notebook | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Journal, Black and White Notebook, New Job, Well Done

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Congratulations You Cunt A5 Notebook | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Journal, Black and White Notebook, New Job, Well Done

Congratulations You Cunt A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock A5 Notebook | Father's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Dad, Monochrome Journal, Small Todger, Willy, Penis

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock A5 Notebook

£11.25

Wow them with your willy vocab with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Coaster | Tiger King Gifts, Carole Baskin, Joe Exotic, Monochrome, Profanity

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Good Luck You Fuck Coaster | Funny Leaving Gift, Funny Good Luck Gift, Rude Drinks Mat, Black and White, New Job, New Home, Leaving For University

Good Luck You Fuck Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Coaster | Father's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Dad, Drinks Mat, Small Penis, Todger, Willy

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Good Luck You Fuck Magnet | Funny Leaving Gift, Funny Good Luck Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, New Job, Leaving For University

Good Luck You Fuck Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Magnet | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, Well Done, New Job

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Congratulations You Smug Wanker Magnet | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, Well Done, New Job

Congratulations You Smug Wanker Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Congratulations You Cunt Magnet | Congratulations Gift, Graduation Gift, Rude Fridge Magnet, Black and White, Well Done, New Job

Congratulations You Cunt Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Fridge Magnet | Father's Day Gift, Thank You Gift For Father, Small Penis, Willy, Todger

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Magnet

£8.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£8.95