Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Let's Pretend This Year Didn't Happen Greeting Card | Deadpan New Year Card, Funny Happy New Year Card, Let's Forget This Year Card

Let's Pretend This Year Didn't Happen Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're The Best Teacher I've Had So Far Greeting Card | Funny Card For Teacher, Deadpan Thank You Card For Teacher, Best Teacher Card

You're The Best Teacher I've Had So Far Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Bugger Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Accident Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Failed Exam, Failed Driving Test, Break Up

Bugger Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Cousin, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Cousin Card

If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On Tinder You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Met On Tinder, Dating App

Of All The Weirdos On Tinder You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Bought You An Easter Egg But Then I Ate It! Happy Easter! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Happy Easter Card, Chocolate Eggs Joke

I Bought You An Easter Egg But Then I Ate It! Happy Easter! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Live, Laugh, Love, Vomit, Cry, Rinse, Repeat Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, New Mum, Pregnancy Joke, Hormones, Morning Sickness, Basic Saying

Live, Laugh, Love, Vomit, Cry, Rinse, Repeat Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'll Give You A Good Stuffing Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card, Christmas Food Sex Joke

I'll Give You A Good Stuffing Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Funny Normal People Card, Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Husband

I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Made a Tiny Human Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card For New Parents, Just Gave Birth

Congratulations You Made a Tiny Human Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Wishing You A Happy Birthday From A Social Distance Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card, Socially Distanced Birthday

Wishing You A Happy Birthday From A Social Distance Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Obligatory Mother's Day Card Greeting Card | Deadpan Mother's Day Card, Dry Humour Card For Mum

Obligatory Mother's Day Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Toilet Joke New Home Card, You're Leaving, Moving Out, Housewarming, Toilet Doodle

Happy Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Can't Wait To Have A Big Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny New Home Card, You're Leaving, Moving Out, Housewarming, Toilet Doodle

I Can't Wait To Have A Big Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan You're Old Age Joke Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Friend, Grandad, Grandma, Another Year Older

One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If Mums Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Mother's Day Card For Mum, Birthday Card For Mum, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You

If Mums Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Pathetic Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Accident Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Failed Exam, Failed Driving Test, Break Up

Pathetic Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Mum, Thanks For All The Free Food Greeting Card | Deadpan Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, For Her

Mum, Thanks For All The Free Food Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Mum, Thanks For Wiping My Bum Greeting Card | Deadpan Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, Nappy Change Joke, For Her

Mum, Thanks For Wiping My Bum Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Anniversary From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Wife, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

Happy Anniversary From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Christmas To Santa's Favourite Ho Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card For Her, Friend

Merry Christmas To Santa's Favourite Ho Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Riddance 2020. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Happy New Year Card, Goodbye Twenty Twenty

Good Riddance 2020. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Shitmas Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card, Profanity, Dry Humour

Merry Shitmas Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If You Jingle My Bell I'll Give You A White Christmas Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card For Her, Jingle Bells

If You Jingle My Bell I'll Give You A White Christmas Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Have a Basic Christmas You Basic Bitch Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card For Her

Have a Basic Christmas You Basic Bitch Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Sorry I'm Washing My Hair Greeting Card | Funny Excuse RSVP Card, Can't Make It Card, Wedding, Birthday Party

Sorry I'm Washing My Hair Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You're Dumped Greeting Card | Funny Break Up Card, Rude Divorce Card, Monochrome

You're Dumped Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Get Well Soon Attention Seeker Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Accident Card, Rude Get Well Soon Card

Get Well Soon Attention Seeker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Vegan Wanker Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Vegan Greeting Card For Vegans, Veggie, Plant Based

Vegan Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations On Your Divorce Greeting Card | Deadpan Divorce Card, Dry Humour Break-Up Card, Monochrome, Sympathy

Congratulations On Your Divorce Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Asked Alexa How Old You Are. She Laughed Greeting Card | Deadpan Alexa Joke Birthday Card For Mum Or Dad, Age Joke, Getting Older, Funny, You're Old

I Asked Alexa How Old You Are. She Laughed Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Sister Card

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Met Online

Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Mean Card, No Point To You Card, Birthday

I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99