Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Obligatory Birthday Card. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude, Funny Happy Birthday Card For Friend, Family

Obligatory Birthday Card. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'll Cum Down Your Chimney Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card For Her

I'll Cum Down Your Chimney Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck With Your New Job You Fucking Traitor Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, Good Luck, Profanity, New Job, Judas

Good Luck With Your New Job You Fucking Traitor Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Bit Much Just To Get Out Of Your Own Wedding Greeting Card | Cancelled Wedding Card, Rescheduled Wedding Card

Bit Much Just To Get Out Of Your Own Wedding Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Obligatory Birthday Card Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card

Obligatory Birthday Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Smug Wanker Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Smug Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On Bumble You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Met On Bumble, Dating App

Of All The Weirdos On Bumble You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
When I First Met You, I Looked Deep Into Your Eyes And Thought

When I First Met You, I Looked Deep Into Your Eyes And Thought "Fuck It, You'll Do" Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Thought You'd Never Leave Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Retirement Card, Funny New Job Card For Coworker, Child Moving Out Card

Thought You'd Never Leave Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Acknowledge That You Are One Year Older Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card

I Acknowledge That You Are One Year Older Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From The One Who Puts Up With Your Farts Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend Or Boyfriend

Happy Birthday From The One Who Puts Up With Your Farts Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Made The Christmas Card List Greeting Card | Funny, Sarcastic, Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Family

Congratulations You Made The Christmas Card List Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Know Where You Live. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny New Home Card, You're Leaving, Moving Out, Housewarming

I Know Where You Live. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're The Dog's Bollocks Greeting Card | Rude Graduation Card, Rude Well Done Card, Rude New Job Card

You're The Dog's Bollocks Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Today Should Be Your Wedding Day But It's Not Greeting Card | Cancelled Wedding Card, Rescheduled Wedding Card

Today Should Be Your Wedding Day But It's Not Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Card For Cat Lover, Funny Card For Cat Owners, Kittens

Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Bell With Party Hat On

Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Snoring Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Wife, Husband

Happy Birthday P.S Please Stop Snoring Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
This Is Literally The First Card I Saw Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Minimal, Low Effort Card, Birthday, Anniversary, Congratulations

This Is Literally The First Card I Saw Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Festive As Fuck. Greeting Card | Funny, Rude, Deadpan, Profanity Christmas Card In Red, Festive AF,

Festive As Fuck. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Mother's Day From Your Greatest Accomplishment. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan, Joke Mother's Day Card For Mum, Her

Happy Mother's Day From Your Greatest Accomplishment. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Christmas Is Cancelled. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Christmas Card For Friend, Christmas Hater, Bah Humbug

Christmas Is Cancelled. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Welcome To The World Tiny Human Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, Joke New Baby Card, Monochrome, Just Born

Welcome To The World Tiny Human Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Let's Pretend This Year Didn't Happen Greeting Card | Deadpan New Year Card, Funny Happy New Year Card, Let's Forget This Year Card

Let's Pretend This Year Didn't Happen Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're The Best Teacher I've Had So Far Greeting Card | Funny Card For Teacher, Deadpan Thank You Card For Teacher, Best Teacher Card

You're The Best Teacher I've Had So Far Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Bugger Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Accident Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Failed Exam, Failed Driving Test, Break Up

Bugger Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Cousin, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Cousin Card

If Cousins Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On Tinder You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Met On Tinder, Dating App

Of All The Weirdos On Tinder You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Bought You An Easter Egg But Then I Ate It! Happy Easter! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Happy Easter Card, Chocolate Eggs Joke

I Bought You An Easter Egg But Then I Ate It! Happy Easter! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Live, Laugh, Love, Vomit, Cry, Rinse, Repeat Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, New Mum, Pregnancy Joke, Hormones, Morning Sickness, Basic Saying

Live, Laugh, Love, Vomit, Cry, Rinse, Repeat Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'll Give You A Good Stuffing Greeting Card | Funny Christmas Card, Rude Christmas Card, Christmas Food Sex Joke

I'll Give You A Good Stuffing Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Funny Normal People Card, Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Husband

I Love You More Than Connell's Chain Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Made a Tiny Human Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card For New Parents, Just Gave Birth

Congratulations You Made a Tiny Human Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Wishing You A Happy Birthday From A Social Distance Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card, Socially Distanced Birthday

Wishing You A Happy Birthday From A Social Distance Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Obligatory Mother's Day Card Greeting Card | Deadpan Mother's Day Card, Dry Humour Card For Mum

Obligatory Mother's Day Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Toilet Joke New Home Card, You're Leaving, Moving Out, Housewarming, Toilet Doodle

Happy Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Can't Wait To Have A Big Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny New Home Card, You're Leaving, Moving Out, Housewarming, Toilet Doodle

I Can't Wait To Have A Big Poo In Your New Loo! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan You're Old Age Joke Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Friend, Grandad, Grandma, Another Year Older

One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If Mums Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Mother's Day Card For Mum, Birthday Card For Mum, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You

If Mums Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Pathetic Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Accident Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Failed Exam, Failed Driving Test, Break Up

Pathetic Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Mum, Thanks For All The Free Food Greeting Card | Deadpan Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, For Her

Mum, Thanks For All The Free Food Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Mum, Thanks For Wiping My Bum Greeting Card | Deadpan Card For Mum, Rude Mothers Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Mum, Nappy Change Joke, For Her

Mum, Thanks For Wiping My Bum Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Anniversary From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Wife, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

Happy Anniversary From The Best Decision You Ever Made Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Christmas To Santa's Favourite Ho Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card For Her, Friend

Merry Christmas To Santa's Favourite Ho Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Riddance 2020. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Happy New Year Card, Goodbye Twenty Twenty

Good Riddance 2020. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Merry Shitmas Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card, Profanity, Dry Humour

Merry Shitmas Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99