Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

There is No Place Like Your Vagina Fridge Magnet | Rude Birthday Gift For Her, Anniversary Gift For Girlfriend, Valentines Gift For Wife

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Sister Card

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Partner, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Met Online

Of All The Weirdos On The Internet You're My Favourite Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Christmas Cards Are Consumerist Bullshit Greeting Card | Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Family, Pessimistic, Bah Humbug

Christmas Cards Are Consumerist Bullshit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Birthday Card For Friend, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister

Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Nosey Cunt In Small Font Joke

Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You'll Do Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Valentines Card For Him, For Her, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, Wife, Anniversary, Love

You'll Do Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
There is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card | Rude Anniversary Card, Rude Valentines Card, Rude Card For Her, Rude Card For Wife, Girlfriend

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Big Gay Day Greeting Card | Funny Gay Wedding Card, Funny LGBTQ+ Wedding Card

Big Gay Day Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, Exams, New Job, Four Leaf Clover Doodle

Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nothing Says ‘Happy Birthday’ Like A Folded Bit Of Card. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Birthday Card For Friend, Family, Partner, Card In Party Hat

Nothing Says ‘Happy Birthday’ Like A Folded Bit Of Card. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 37 Mug | 35 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 37th Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Thirty Seventh Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty Seven

I Am 37 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
U Are 42 Greeting Card | 40 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 42nd Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Forty Second Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

U Are 42 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 22 Greeting Card | 20 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 22nd Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty Second, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Second

U Are 22 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Cactus Prick Pun

Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Colourful Bubble Writing

Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Dick Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday You Dick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nothing Says Happy Birthday Like A Folded Piece Of Card Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Birthday Card

Nothing Says Happy Birthday Like A Folded Piece Of Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Look Like Something I Drew With My Left Hand Greeting Card | Deadpan Ugly Joke Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend or Friend

You Look Like Something I Drew With My Left Hand Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
If Brothers Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Brother Card

If Brothers Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
There's Nobody Else I'd Take The Bins Out For Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband Or Wife

There's Nobody Else I'd Take The Bins Out For Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Hate You The Least Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Him, Her, Love Card, hate Everyone But You

I Hate You The Least Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Looking 60 Years Old Is Great... If You're 70 Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Grandparent, Parent, Friend, Sibling, Getting Old, Old Age Joke

Looking 60 Years Old Is Great... If You're 70 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Ginger Twat! Greeting Card | Rude, Deadpan Card For Ginger Person, Red Head, Friend, Sibling, Man With Ginger Hair Illustration

Nope, Still A Ginger Twat! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
At Least You Can Say Christmas Made You Fat Greeting Card | Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Christmas Food Joke

At Least You Can Say Christmas Made You Fat Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Gay Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Gay Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Lesbian Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Forties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card | Colourful, Blunt 50th, Deadpan Fiftieth Birthday Card For Fifty Year Old, Brother, Sister, Mum, Dad, Friend

Your Forties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Twenties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card | Colourful, Blunt 30th, Deadpan Thirtieth Birthday Card For Thirty Year Old, Brother, Sister, Friend, Son, Daughter

Your Twenties Have Now Expired. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
RIP To Your Thirties Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Fortieth Birthday Card For Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister, Friend, Forty Year Old, 40th

RIP To Your Thirties Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're My Weirdo Greeting Card | Funny, Silly, Valentines Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, Wife, Anniversary, Love

You're My Weirdo Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Mug | Rude, Funny, Profanity Gift For Dog Owner, Dog Lover, Puppies

Even Your Dog Thinks You're A Dick Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95