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Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sibling, Nose Picking Joke, I Choose You, Love You Sister Card

If Sisters Were Bogies I'd Pick You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Alexa How Old Am I? Greeting Card | Deadpan Alexa Joke Birthday Card, Age Joke, Forgetful, Getting Older, Forgetting Age

Alexa How Old Am I? Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Mean Card, No Point To You Card, Birthday

I Fail To See The Point In Your Continued Existence Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday... Not Many Left Now Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Grandparent, Parent, Friend, Sibling, Getting Old, Old Age Joke, Existential

Happy Birthday... Not Many Left Now Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Dad! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Father

I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Dad! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday! You Are A Constant Source Of Disappointment! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Son, Daughter, Spouse, Birthday Candle

Happy Birthday! You Are A Constant Source Of Disappointment! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card | Deadpan, LGBTQ+ Birthday Card For Friend

Happy Birthday To My Favourite Bisexual Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour, Birthday Card For Friend, Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister

Happy Birthday I Couldn't Afford A Card With A Picture Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Nosey Cunt In Small Font Joke

Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
RIP To Your Forties Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Fiftieth Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Fifty Year Old, 50th

RIP To Your Forties Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation Journal, Diary, Caravan Doodle

Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
I Regret To Inform You That You Are No Longer Young Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour Birthday Card, Old Age Joke

I Regret To Inform You That You Are No Longer Young Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Today Is The Anniversary Of The Day You Were Born Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card, Dry Humour, To The Point Birthday Card

Today Is The Anniversary Of The Day You Were Born Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nothing Says ‘Happy Birthday’ Like A Folded Bit Of Card. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Birthday Card For Friend, Family, Partner, Card In Party Hat

Nothing Says ‘Happy Birthday’ Like A Folded Bit Of Card. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 37 Mug | 35 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 37th Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Thirty Seventh Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty Seven

I Am 37 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
U Are 42 Greeting Card | 40 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 42nd Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Forty Second Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

U Are 42 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 30 Greeting Card | 28 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 30th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Thirty, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirtieth Birthday

U Are 30 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 25 Greeting Card | 23 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 25th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Five, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Fith

U Are 25 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 24 Greeting Card | 22 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 24th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Four, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Fourth

U Are 24 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 22 Greeting Card | 20 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 22nd Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty Second, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Second

U Are 22 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 21 Greeting Card | 19 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 21st Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty First, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty First

U Are 21 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 20 Greeting Card | 18 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 20th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twentieth, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty

U Are 20 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Cactus Prick Pun

Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Colourful Bubble Writing

Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99