Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Thanks For Putting Up With My Shit Greeting Card | Deadpan Thank You Card, Profanity Thank You Card, Funny Thank You Card, Monochrome

Thanks For Putting Up With My Shit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Colleagues Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, New Job, Good Luck

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Colleagues Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday Cunty McCunt Face Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
It Was A Shit Job Anyway Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, Retirement, New Job, Redundancy, Fired, Lost Job

It Was A Shit Job Anyway Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Really Are A Massive Cunt Magnet | Rude, Funny Fridge Magnet, Black And White Magnet, Offensive Gift, Profanity

You Really Are A Massive Cunt Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Go Fuck Yourself Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Profanity, Deadpan Greeting Card, Frenemy, Fuck You Card, Banter Card, Frenemies

Go Fuck Yourself Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Swear Word Card

Happy Birthday From One Cunt To Another Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Were Shit At Your Job Anyway Greeting Card | Deadpan You're Leaving Card, Funny Leaving Card, Retirement, New Job, Redundancy

You Were Shit At Your Job Anyway Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Ginger Cunt. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity, Rude Birthday Card In Orange For Ginger, Red Head

Happy Birthday You Ginger Cunt. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours | Deadpan New Home Card, Rude New Home Card, Funny Moving House Card

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Mug | Rude, Funny, Profanity Gift For Cat Owner, Cat Lover, Kittens

Even Your Cat Thinks You're A Cunt Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Caravan Wanker Coaster | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation, Caravan Doodle Drinks Mat

Caravan Wanker Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
You Really Are A Massive Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Greeting Card, Funny Greeting Card, Profanity

You Really Are A Massive Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Thoughts And Prayers To Your Vagina Greeting Card | Funny New Mum Card, Joke New Mum Card, New Baby, Just Gave Birth

Thoughts And Prayers To Your Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck You're Old Greeting Card | Offensive Birthday Card, Profanity, Old Age Joke Birthday Card

Fuck You're Old Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Allotment Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Gardener, Allotment Owner, Garden Journal, Diary, Gardening Tools, Veggies, Plants

Allotment Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Vegan Wanker Apron | Rude Present For Vegan, Profanity, Monochrome, Veggie, Plant Based

Vegan Wanker Apron

£21.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£21.50
RIP Vagina Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, Joke New Mum Card, Just Gave Birth, Congratulations

RIP Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One | Funny Birthday Card For Him, Rude Sex Joke Birthday Card For Him,

On This Day You Came Out A Vagina Tonight You'll Be Back Inside One Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Cunt Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nobody Likes A Tory Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Politics Joke, Conservative Party, Tory Scum, Rich, Toff, Posh

Nobody Likes A Tory Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Easter You Cunt Greeting Card | Rude, Funny, Profanity, Deadpan Easter Card, Monochrome, Easter Sunday

Happy Easter You Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Can't Be Bothered Birthday Card, Lazy Card Joke

Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Bald Cunt! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Parent, Grandparent, Friend, Sibling, Man With No Hair Illustration

Nope, Still A Bald Cunt! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99