Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Caravan Wanker Coaster | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation, Caravan Doodle Drinks Mat

Caravan Wanker Coaster

£13.25

Tell them like it is with these fun coasters. SIZE: 4x4"

£13.25
Allotment Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Gardener, Allotment Owner, Garden Journal, Diary, Gardening Tools, Veggies, Plants

Allotment Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Can't Be Bothered Birthday Card, Lazy Card Joke

Fuck It. This Card Will Do. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Gym Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Gym Goer, Weight Lifter, Gym Enthusiast, Muscle Head, Gains, Journal, Dairy

Gym Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
I Am 41 Mug | 39 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 41st Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Forty First Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

I Am 41 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Guitar Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Guitarist, Guitar Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Guitar Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
I Am 31 Mug | 29 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 31st Birthday Gift For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Thirty First Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty One

I Am 31 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Bell With Party Hat On

Happy Birthday You Bellend Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Bike Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Cyclist, Biker, Cycling Journal, Biking Diary

Bike Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan You're Old Age Joke Birthday Card For Mum, Dad, Friend, Grandad, Grandma, Another Year Older

One Year Closer To Death Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation Journal, Diary, Caravan Doodle

Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, Exams, New Job, Four Leaf Clover Doodle

Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nothing Says ‘Happy Birthday’ Like A Folded Bit Of Card. Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Birthday Card For Friend, Family, Partner, Card In Party Hat

Nothing Says ‘Happy Birthday’ Like A Folded Bit Of Card. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 37 Mug | 35 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 37th Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Thirty Seventh Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty Seven

I Am 37 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
U Are 42 Greeting Card | 40 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 42nd Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Forty Second Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

U Are 42 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 22 Greeting Card | 20 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 22nd Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty Second, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Second

U Are 22 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Cactus Prick Pun

Happy Birthday You Prick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Colourful Bubble Writing

Happy Birthday Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Happy Birthday You Dick Greeting Card | Funny Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Boyfriend Or Girlfriend, Deadpan Profanity Birthday Card

Happy Birthday You Dick Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nothing Says Happy Birthday Like A Folded Piece Of Card Greeting Card | Funny Birthday Card For Friend, Her, Him, Family, Deadpan Birthday Card

Nothing Says Happy Birthday Like A Folded Piece Of Card Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Am 42 Mug | 40 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 42nd Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Forty Second Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

I Am 42 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
I Am 40 Mug | 38 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 40th Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Fortieth Birthday Gift, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty

I Am 40 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95