Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

U Are 28 Greeting Card | 26 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 28th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Eight, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Eighth

U Are 28 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 27 Greeting Card | 25 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 27th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Seven, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Seventh

U Are 27 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 26 Greeting Card | 24 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 26th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Six, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Sixth

U Are 26 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 25 Greeting Card | 23 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 25th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Five, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Fith

U Are 25 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 24 Greeting Card | 22 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 24th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Four, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Fourth

U Are 24 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 23 Greeting Card | 21 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 23rd Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Three, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Third

U Are 23 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 21 Greeting Card | 19 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 21st Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty First, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty First

U Are 21 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 20 Greeting Card | 18 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 20th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twentieth, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty

U Are 20 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Birthday Wanker Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Profanity Insult Birthday Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Offensive Bubble Writing Birthday Card

Birthday Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I'm A Cunt And So Are You Greeting Card | Deadpan Love Card For Partner, Husband, Wife, Girlfriend Or Boyfriend

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I'm A Cunt And So Are You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Best Chance Of Getting Laid Is To Crawl Up A Chicken's Ass And Wait Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Can't Get Laid, Not Getting Any Sex

Your Best Chance Of Getting Laid Is To Crawl Up A Chicken's Ass And Wait Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm No Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Cactus Pun Greeting Card, You're A Prick Cactus Card

I'm No Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Would Tell You To Eat Shit But I Know You're Not Into Cannibalism Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Profanity, Deadpan Greeting Card, You're Shit

I Would Tell You To Eat Shit But I Know You're Not Into Cannibalism Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Violin Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Violinist, Violin Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Violin Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Well This Is A Fucking Shit Birthday Greeting Card | Deadpan Lockdown Birthday Card, Crap Birthday, Can't Celebrate, Monochrome, Profanity

Well This Is A Fucking Shit Birthday Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Having Small Boobs Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Massive Tit! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny Card For Her, Small Breasts Joke

Having Small Boobs Doesn't Mean You Can Overcompensate By Being A Massive Tit! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Valentine's Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Valentine's Card For Husband, Boyfriend, Penis Still Works, Dick Joke

Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Valentine's Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Have A Fucking Spectacular Divorce Greeting Card | Deadpan Divorce Card, Dry Humour Break-Up Card, Monochrome, Sympathy

Have A Fucking Spectacular Divorce Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Let Us Fuck Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Let's Have Sex, Profanity, Blunt

Let Us Fuck Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You Fucking Mug Greeting Card | Funny Sympathy Card, Sorry Card, Lost Job, Break Up, Gullible, Divorce, Slang, Sucker, Fool

You Fucking Mug Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
You Don't Half Talk Some Bullshit Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Profanity Card, Chat Shit, Compulsive Lier, Chatting Shit

You Don't Half Talk Some Bullshit Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Boyfriend, Penis Still Works, Dick Joke

Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Wanker! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Sibling, Wanker, Monochrome

Nope, Still A Wanker! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Jingle Bell... End. Mug | Rude Christmas Gift, Stocking Filler, Deadpan, Funny Christmas Carol Pun Coffee Mug, Jingle Bells, Bellend, Profanity

Jingle Bell... End. Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95