Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

There is No Place Like Your Vagina Fridge Magnet | Rude Birthday Gift For Her, Anniversary Gift For Girlfriend, Valentines Gift For Wife

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
Vegan Wanker Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Vegan Greeting Card For Vegans, Veggie, Plant Based

Vegan Wanker Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card | Rude Congratulations Card, Well Done, Graduation, New Home, Engagement, New Job, Promotion

Congratulations You Undeserving Dickhead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Greeting Card | Deadpan Greeting Card, Rude Father's Day Card, Rude Thank You Card For Dad, Small Penis

Dad Thanks For Giving Me A Small Cock Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Drum Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Drummer, Drum Player, Musician, Music Lover, Journal, Diary

Drum Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card | Deadpan, Profanity Birthday Card For Friend, Nosey Cunt In Small Font Joke

Happy Birthday You Nosey Cunt Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Eat Your Fucking Sprouts Greeting Card | Funny, Rude Christmas Card, Dry Humour, Profanity, Brussel Sprouts

Eat Your Fucking Sprouts Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook | Rude, Funny Gift For Caravaner, Caravan Owner, Staycation Journal, Diary, Caravan Doodle

Caravan Wanker A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Where The Fuck Is My Wine Apron | Rude, Funny, Deadpan Apron For Wine Drinker, Vino, Mum, Her, Profanity, Monochrome

Where The Fuck Is My Wine Apron

£21.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£21.50
Prick With A Fork Apron | Rude, Funny Pun BBQ Apron For Him, Dad, Profanity, Monochrome

Prick With A Fork Apron

£21.50

Tell them like it is with our range of canvas aprons.  SIZE: 25" X 35" 

£21.50
There is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card | Rude Anniversary Card, Rude Valentines Card, Rude Card For Her, Rude Card For Wife, Girlfriend

There Is No Place Like Your Vagina Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours A5 Notebook | Moving Out Gift, Gifts For Couples Moving Out, Black And White Journal

Please Pass On Our Deepest Sympathies To Your New Neighbours A5 Notebook

£11.25

Tell them like it is with these fun notebooks.

£11.25
Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card | Deadpan New Year Card, Funny Happy New Year Card, Pessimistic New Year Card

Here's To Another Shitty Year Ahead Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Fuck Men Greeting Card | Funny Break Up Card For Her, Sorry Divorce Card For Her, Men Are Trash Card, Monochrome

Fuck Men Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Bitches Get Stitches Greeting Card | Funny New Mum Card, Joke New Mum Card, New Baby, Just Gave Birth

Bitches Get Stitches Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, Exams, New Job, Four Leaf Clover Doodle

Good Luck You Fuck Doodle Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck You Fuck Greeting Card | Deadpan, Funny, Rude Good Luck Card, New Job, Exams, Leaving

Good Luck You Fuck Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Carole Fuckin' Baskin Magnet | Tiger King Gifts, Carole Baskin, Joe Exotic Quote, Profanity, Monochrome Fridge Magnet

Carole Fuckin' Baskin Magnet

£10.95

Tell them like it is with our fun magnets. SIZE: 4 x 4" square

£10.95
I Am 37 Mug | 35 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 37th Birthday Gift For Friend, Brother, Sister, Thirty Seventh Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirty Seven

I Am 37 Mug

£11.95

Tell them like it is with our fun range of mugs.

£11.95
U Are 42 Greeting Card | 40 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 42nd Birthday Card For Friend, Sibling, Forty Second Birthday, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Forty Two

U Are 42 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 30 Greeting Card | 28 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 30th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Thirty, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Thirtieth Birthday

U Are 30 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 25 Greeting Card | 23 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 25th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Five, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Fith

U Are 25 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 24 Greeting Card | 22 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 24th Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling, Twenty Four, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Fourth

U Are 24 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
U Are 22 Greeting Card | 20 + 2, Funny, Deadpan 22nd Birthday Card For Friend, Son, Daughter, Sibling Twenty Second, 2 Fingers Up, Fuck Off, Twenty Second

U Are 22 Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99