Deadpan Gifts

We challenge you to gift these items without cracking a smile. Lemon Loco offers a wide range of deadpan gifts, ranging from Mugs, Coasters, Magnets, Stickers, Notebooks, Cushions, Journals, Towels, Tote Bags & Aprons.

We also offer a collection of premium deadpan greeting cards which can be personalised and sent direct at no extra cost. Browse now to find your perfect gift today!

Our Time Together Has Been Tolerable Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend

Our Time Together Has Been Tolerable Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You'll Probably Make Terrible Parents, But It Will Be Fun To Watch Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card For New Parents, Just Gave Birth, Congratulations

You'll Probably Make Terrible Parents, But It Will Be Fun To Watch Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Sorry Your Newborn Has You For Parents Greeting Card | Funny New Baby Card, Joke New Parents Card, Just Gave Birth, Congratulations, You'll Be Bad Parents

I'm Sorry Your Newborn Has You For Parents Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Be Careful... Too Many Birthdays Will Kill You Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Grandparent, Parent, Sibling, Getting Old, Old Age Joke

Be Careful... Too Many Birthdays Will Kill You Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Go Dark On Your Birthday Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Friend, Disappear, Stay Off Social Media, Unavailable

Go Dark On Your Birthday Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card | Funny, Deadpan Anniversary Card For Husband, Boyfriend, Penis Still Works, Dick Joke

Your Knob Still Does The Job Happy Anniversary Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Good Luck! You're Quite Thick So Don't Get Your Hopes Up! Greeting Card | Rude, Deadpan Good Luck Card, Dunce Cap Illustration, Stupid, Exams

Good Luck! You're Quite Thick So Don't Get Your Hopes Up! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still An Old Fart! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Parent, Grandparent, Zimmer Frame, Walking Aid Illustration, Old Age

Nope, Still An Old Fart! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Nope, Still A Wanker! Greeting Card | Rude, Offensive, Deadpan Card For Friend, Brother, Sister, Sibling, Wanker, Monochrome

Nope, Still A Wanker! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
One Day All Trace Of You Will Be Forgotten. Let's Do Something Stupid! Greeting Card | Deadpan Card For Friend, Reckless, Live For Today

One Day All Trace Of You Will Be Forgotten. Let's Do Something Stupid! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Mum! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Mother
from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Bro! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Brother
from £3.99
I'm Starting To Realise That Looking Up To You Might Have Been A Mistake... Happy Birthday Sis! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Sister
from £3.99
At Least Your Age Is Starting To Catch Up With Your Face. Happy Birthday! Greeting Card | Deadpan Birthday Card For Parent, Old Age Joke

At Least Your Age Is Starting To Catch Up With Your Face. Happy Birthday! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Have Lost All Respect For You. Happy Birthday! Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude Birthday Card, Lost Respect For Friend, For Partner, For Spouse

I Have Lost All Respect For You. Happy Birthday! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Hate What We Have Become. Happy Anniversary! Greeting Card | Deadpan Anniversary Card, For Husband, For Wife, For Girlfriend, For Boyfriend

I Hate What We Have Become. Happy Anniversary! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
It Is Now No Longer Financially Viable For Us To Break Up. Happy Anniversary! Greeting Card | Deadpan Anniversary Card, For Husband, For Wife

It Is Now No Longer Financially Viable For Us To Break Up. Happy Anniversary! Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Dad, Thanks For Wiping My Bum Greeting Card | Deadpan Father's Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Dad, For Him, Nappy Change Joke

Dad, Thanks For Wiping My Bum Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Dad, Thanks For Being My Taxi Greeting Card | Deadpan Father's Day Card, Funny Thank You Card For Dad, For Him

Dad, Thanks For Being My Taxi Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Don't Get Any Ideas You're Getting A Handjob At Best. Happy Valentine's. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Rude Valentine's Card In Red For Him, Husband, Boyfriend

Don't Get Any Ideas You're Getting A Handjob At Best. Happy Valentine's. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
I Have Lost All Respect For You. HB. Greeting Card | Deadpan, Dry Humour Birthday Card In Orange For Husband, Wife, Lost Respect

I Have Lost All Respect For You. HB. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards.

from £3.99
Together We Can Destroy Christmas Greeting Card | Deadpan Christmas Card For Friends, Bah Humbug, Christmas Haters

Together We Can Destroy Christmas Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
Your Constant Joy Is Starting To Encroach On My Abject Misery Greeting Card | Deadpan, Pessimistic Congratulations Card, Engagement, New Job, Jealousy

Your Constant Joy Is Starting To Encroach On My Abject Misery Greeting Card

from £3.99

Put a smile on their face with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99
You're My Type On Paper. Greeting Card | Deadpan Valentine's Card In Red For Him, Her, Crush, Love, Be My Valentine

You're My Type On Paper. Greeting Card

from £3.99

Tell them like it is with our fun greeting cards. 

from £3.99